we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
