Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
