yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
