Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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