if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
