I didn't shave. On purpose
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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