I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
