I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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