So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
