You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's never too late to be topless.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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