there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
