I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
