Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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