let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
