I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
