I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
