Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
