That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
