It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
