Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
