It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
