What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
