If that was your dad, he is hot
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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