What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
