So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
