I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
