I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
