That's intense
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
