he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
