i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
