You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
