It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
