I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
