I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
