Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
