well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
