Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
