Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize