He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
