In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
