Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do herpes really smell.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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