The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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