just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
