Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
