doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
