I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
