I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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