Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
