Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Let's paint friendship bongs
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
