eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
