is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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