I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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