let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
