xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
