Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize