I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
