She is in my trunk
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
