He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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