I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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