Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
