Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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