So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
