what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
