Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
