Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize