He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
