I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
