I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
