I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
