We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize