Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It all started with a game of naked twister.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
