i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it's like heaven, but drunker
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
