yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can I color on your dick again?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
