True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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